Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
whose parrot is this?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
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