My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize