Betty ford says i'm here all night
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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