OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize