No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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