He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize