is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
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one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
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This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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