Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
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Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
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I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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