think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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