Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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