So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
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She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
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But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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