Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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