It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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