"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
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