I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
People in love make me want to vomit
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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