I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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