I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
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The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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