I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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