Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
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So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
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Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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