Tell her she can't have a vagina
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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