he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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