Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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