my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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