Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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