Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize