I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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