): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
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So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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