So gin and wine won't be happening again
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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