i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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