sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So gin and wine won't be happening again
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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