the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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