we have officially mastered the walk of shame
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
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kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
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I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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