i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize