after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
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I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
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FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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