i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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