Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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