Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize