Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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