I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize