Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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