true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize