naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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