Don't you send me to vm
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize