I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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