Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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