Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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