I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize