It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
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He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
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NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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