so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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