Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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